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I’m scared

Of some weird shit.

What could I possibly be afraid of, being the big scary lesbian that I am?

Well, thunderstorms for one. But at least that’s pretty normal.

Another weird fear?

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Gum – like, I think it’s gross. And it sounds gross and smells disgusting and when people blow bubbles I want to vomit. Not only that though, the sight of chewed gum makes me want to cry. It genuinely stresses me out. If I’m eating with someone and they take gum out of their mouth to eat and set it on their plate or something, I can’t focus on anything because I’m too weirded out.

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I HATE JELLO. It’s funny, because I JUST blogged about jello shots, but the only way I’ll consume jello is if it will make me drunk. Otherwise, I won’t touch the stuff. I think the other reason I’m ok with jello shots is because they jiggle less than other jello things. They’re small and well-contained. Once, one summer when I was working at camp, my campers knew I was scared of jello .. one night at dinner, they brought out a tray of jello cubes for desert. My campers threw them at me. Little shits.

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My weirdest fear … drains. I don’t know exactly where this one came from, but I have an inexplicable fear of drains. I won’t touch them. I think it’s because for some reason I think something could come out of them, but I don’t really know … Judge me all you want, but it seriously impairs my ability to clean the kitchen sink or the bathroom!

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Posted by on 21 April 2011 in Funny Stories, Just Me

 

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